“The way is as important as the what”
We have looked at a way of improving communication with something we can do by being SMART.
Now let us look at a way to improve communication by something we should not do: cause DRAMA.
My SMART article emphasised that our communication constitutes three areas: message, mechanics, and manner. SMART helps with some of those mechanics, the message we will look at in another article, but it is the manner where the DRAMA comes in.
Good manner-management demands of us to avoid “DRAMA”.
When communicating with our team members, we should refrain from Disrespectful, Rude, Aggressive, Myopic, Arrogant communication.
These five crimes are common barriers to building respect, and make it nigh on impossible to be liked. Whether intentional or not, if our manner carries one of these malevolent manner-maggots, it will eat at the respect of the relationship and erode the team.
Being disrespectful should need no explanation! However, a reminder should help: our tone and implication must reflect our recognition and appreciation for the efforts made by our colleagues.
Aggressive speech often triggers aggressive answers. If you go round poking people in the eye, don’t be surprised if you get a slap in the face occasionally! Aggression spawns retaliation.
Aggression sits between abrasive and abusive. If we have a tendency to be abrasive, we are just one step from being aggressive, then it is a short jump to being outright abusive. All three should be avoided as one can easily escalate to the next. If we control one, we can avoid the other.
Being myopic is all about self. Where is our focus? Is it shortsighted, fixed only on us and what we want or what we do, or on them, what they need and how they are doing?
Arrogance is a special breed of disrespect: in effect, it is a form of superiority! Putting our self above others, with a self-proclamation that we, and our view, is better than them and theirs.
Remember, good communication requires a clear message, good mechanics, and a respectful manner. For most of us, however, even if our “what” said – the message and mechanics – is perfect, if the way it is said – the manner – is dysfunctional, then the rest will surely just get lost in all the DRAMA!
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